No longer able to resist the narcissism (it is a blog after all), I thought to share it. Comments are welcome and harsh criticisms are deserved.
I Had a Heart Once
I had a heart once. I know that this, in and of itself, is not unusual. I mean, most multicellular organisms have a cardiovascular system of some kind (if I’m anything, it’s multicellular). What is unusual is that my heart just up and quit one day. I was standing in the produce section and the crazy thing just stopped beating.
Now, at first, this turn of events was rather distressing (and hurt like hell). But, once they loaded me into the ambulance, I began to feel better. In fact, I felt better than I had before my heart stopped; better than I had most of my life.
When I got to the emergency room the doctor tried to resuscitate me three times before he realized that I wasn’t unconscious. There’s top notch medical treatment for you: trying to revive a man who isn’t dead. Can't blame him I guess. It's not everyday that a fella's heart stops and doesn’t he die or at least pass out.
All the doctors ran tests on me. More than a dozen agreed that my heart was, in fact, not beating. Some suggested slapping a pace-maker on it to jump start things. I wasn't interested. I felt better without it so why fix what isn’t broken. Apparently my heart was in ship-shape besides the whole not beating thing so they asked me if I wanted to donate it. I agreed. What the hell was it doing for me anyway?
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