I Would Like to Thank You

Dear Internet,

Thank you. Thank you for knowing everything. You're kinda like the ridiculously diverse, terribly disorganized library I've always wanted (even though your "cute baby animal videos" section is a little too extensive).

Thanks for always being there and, in fact, everywhere. You never stop to eat, sleep, or bathe (and neither do a great many of your denizens). I can always find you when I need you (which is constantly).

Thanks for never judging me. We both know I should be reading about the terrible suffering of the peoples of where ever or the latest headlines instead of Space Ghost Coast-to-Coast episodes. But you don't ask, don't tell, and don't care. That's the sign of a true friend.

Yours,

The Meister